at war with myself

well i think onecan enjoy ones life totally only when he is left at his own free will,to follow his own dreams n the desires of his heart,why are others so bothered.i was always taught in my school days to be very ambitious,goal centred and idealistic.but now i.ve come 2 realise that there's no place for idealism in dis world.i think im made yellow in my home.i need 2 sacrifice my little but ardent desire 4 de sake of others.it makes me feel very worthless n subservient, i hv been losin my self esteem a lot these days,that at times i feel like as if im dyin within myself each moment rather than living it.cryin dsnt help nor does blamin,so i just got 2 stoop dwn 4 others n let myself go,for if im not important 4 others im not important 4 myself too.